Eternal Love
by veelangel
Summary: Looking back on her relationship with Ron, Hermione wants to look back on her life, and the new life shes abandoning...
1. The beginning

**Chapter 1: **The Beginning

**Disclaimer: **Anything that you recognise belongs to JK Rowling (some people have it all...) anything you don't recognise belongs to me and if you wanna use it, you'll have to ask me first...

**Every couple has a story, some are more interesting then others, some aren't. Anyway our story begins when I went to Hogwarts and I had two best friends, Ron and Harry. Me, Ron and Harry, Ron, Harry and me, that's the way things were, that's the way we hoped it would always be. Of course fate is a cruel thing, and our future was taken from us before we had even begun to live our lives. I still have the memories, I will never forget them, all that happened between us, and the light that they brought to the world. Ron was my best friend, along with Harry, Ron then became my boyfriend, my fiancee and then it all stopped, our chapter was over. It finished before it had even started, and this is my story…**

A loud belch echoed around the great hall as I walked to my seat one lunchtime, finally returning to my friends after a late running Arithmacy lesson.

"Ronald Weasley! Honestly, I heard that from the entrance hall!"

My red-headed friend grinned at me through his freckles and spoke, his mouth full of a mixture of gravy and mashed potato.

"wha' 'o won' wi' 'at?" Disgusting, the day Ronald Weasley learns table manners will be a day of great rejoicing in the Wizarding World.

"It's disgusting, that's what's wrong with it, and you're lucky I understood that without being sprayed in mashed potato!"

Ron glared at me and swallowed.

"I am getting better though - three years ago you wouldn't have understood a word I said AND would've been covered in mashed potato!"

He grinned at me causing my heart to melt, that bloody grin, it makes it impossible for me to get mad at him for more then five minutes.

"Actually Ronald you haven't improved, I've just learnt when to duck."

Ron opened his mouth, either to reply to my comment or shovel another forkful of food into that vast cavern, but he closed it again when Harry came and sat down next to us. He looked tired, he always looked tired nowadays. I guess it's the prophesy, if knew that I was to be either murderer or victim then I would probably lose sleep over it too. Harry smiled across the table at Ginny who flushed and grinned back, they started going out last summer after Harry worked up the guts to tell her how he felt. He finally realised that he had had way too many brushes with death in his lifetime for him to go on without her knowing, so (with a small push from myself and Luna) he told her the truth when he arrived at the Burrow at the beginning of August. They were still a little awkward around each other, but they were just about used to the idea of them going out, and gradually Ron is learning to accept it. I've always hoped that Harry and Ginny would get together, Ron certainly approved of the match once, so why not know? His sister and best friend finally getting together, two perfectly nice people who more then deserve each other. I hope me and Ron find people that we're just as happy with. Oh Merlin… What am I thinking? I love Ron and everything, but he deserves someone who is as fun-loving as he is, not someone who… well not someone like me, I don't deserve him and I know it. True I'll never be as happy as I would be if I was with Ron, but so long as Rons happy, I'm happy…

"'Mione?" Ron's finished his lunch (Praise the Lord!) and was looking at me in concern "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Ron, honest, its just…" I sighed I couldn't tell him, not today "…My mind was just wondering." he grinned at me as if someone had cast a cheering charm on him. One day I will tell him the truth, but for now, it can wait, maybe another time…

I was sitting by the dormatory window watching Ron and Harry talking by the lake when Ginny walked in.

"Hey Hermione, not like you to be daydreaming." I looked up at Ginnys honest face, she had probably worked out what was going on already, and I had the sudden urge to tell someone, even if it wasn't Ron.

"Gin, I've gotta small problem."

"What's Ron done now?"

"Its nothing like that Gin, I'm in love with your brother."

"I've got 6 of the creatures Hermione, you'll have to be specific."

"Percy." At this word Ginny sat bolt upright and started choking on her own spit

"God Gin, I'm only joking! My taste in guys isn't that bad!"

"It is Hermione," Ginny said "Can you think of any other reason why you love Ron?"

I was right, Ginny did know the truth, and she had obviously known it for a long time and had no doubt in my feelings at all. I knew that she would probably know the truth but not on this level, I thought she'd just have a sneaking suspicion. I must have been more obvious then I originally thought. Ginny must have read my expression because she grinned at me and bounced with glee.

"At last, you should know how long Harry and I have been waiting for one of you to come out of your shell. When are you going to ask him out?"

"How about never?" I replied, Ginny opened her mouth to argue, I was sick of arguments I argued with Ron enough times, I didn't want to be arguing with Ginny too. "If you and Harry worked it out, Ron probably knows already."

"I don't think so, Ron couldn't be any more dense if he tried." Ginny said grinning

"Aww leave him alone, he's not that bad."

"Oh Lord, its started, you're defending him already."

I left the room, knowing that within minutes Ginny would've told Harry what I had said and then both of them would be badgering me to ask Ron out. Harry might even tell Ron, I shuddered at the thought of what might happen if Ron found out. Our friendship was on the edge of a knife already, if anything mucked it up we would be doomed, we needed to stay together for Harry's sake, breaking up as friends was not an option. I took a deep breath, this was going to be difficult…

**That was when I realised the whole truth, how much I loved and cared for Ron, how I'd die for him so that he wouldn't feel any pain or grief. I knew that I'd have to tell him my feelings oneday, but I was afraid of his reaction, what if he didn't feel the same? Every day the pressure to tell him mounted (Harry and Ginnys badgering was ever increasing) as did what was at risk. Rejection wasn't the only thing that entered my mind, if he said yes, what would Harry think? If it didn't work out between us how would we support Harry if we weren't supporting each other? Hundreds of theorys entered my head to explain my own feelings in those long few weeks, each was unlikely as the next. I wanted to run away, fearing his answer, knowing that whatever he will say, something could go wrong. But I knew it was going to happen, you cannot escape your own fate, no matter how long you put it off for, one day I would succumb to the mounting tension. Then one day, it happened…**

I was doing my homework on a Friday evening, eager to get it out of the way before the weekend arrived so I could be free to stay out of the way from Harry and Ginny, instead of them always finding me in the library finishing the odd essay. However Ron and Harry were playing chess in a corner of the common room, and my Sunday evening would be spent helping them get their homework done before Monday morning. I heard a snort of laughter behind me, and I smiled to myself. I could tell Ron's laugh a mile off, I liked to know that they were happy, Harry had been getting more sullen and moody this year. I liked to know when Harry and Ron were happy, laughter was getting rare for us this year, Voldemort was getting stronger, and we all needed to practise occulumncy regularly, as well as all the homework and revision we were getting.

I loaded my quill with ink and started to write the last sentence of my essay on the 'Dangers of a Beozar' for Snape. Suddenly Ron yelled, causing every one in the common room to jump about a foot and a large blue blot to appear at the end of my last sentence of my last essay for the night. I'd already had a long day, and I was tired and now pretty angry, so I began to unleash my anger on Ron, I know he didn't deserve it but I was to angry and tired to care. Ron argued back, making out that it was my fault, then he told me that I hated him. He was wrong, I corrected him…

"I don't hate you Ron," I said quietly "I've never hated you - In fact, I love you."

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips, he kissed me back, oh God, he kissed me back, it wasn't until we broke apart and I could see the shock in his eyes when I realised what I had done. I couldn't face being in the same room as him for a moment longer, I ran past him, not noticing when I knocked his arm on my way up to my dormitory. I sat on my bed hugging my knees, willing myself to disappear, I'd hide under my bed until Ron had left Hogwarts and I'd take my NEWTs a year late, anything but look Ron in his face again. My luck was cut short, my desperate thoughts were interupted by someone (Ginny I guess) pushing him into my room and slamming the door behind him. I should have climbed out of the window then, I probably would've if I wasn't afraid of heights.

Just what I needed, no choice in confrontation, well I was planning to try to patch things up. I tried to begin a conversation, unfortunatly Ron had attempted to do the same thing at the same time. After several failed attempts Ron cleared his throat and muttered.

"You start"

I started with the basics.

"Sorry Ron"

We were both staring at the floor, or our feet, there was an odd dark patch on the carpet, maybe blue-tack or something - I hope it wasn't chewing gum…

"What are you sorry for?"

"Earlier, everything"

"It's ok, I've been hoping for something like that to happen for years, I never thought you would though, the reality is still sinking in." I looked up then, Ron was smiling, his hair was shining in the moonlight, I stood up and stepped over the line of moonlight from the window, over a barrier of which there was no turning back. Ron took me in his arms and I put mine around his neck.

"You know I love you 'Mione" I smiled and lent forwards, catching his lips with mine, it took us half an hour to work up the guts to go downstairs and tell Harry and Ginny what had just happened.


	2. Good things never last

**Chapter 2: **Good things never last

**Disclaimer: **Anything that you recognise belongs to JK Rowling (some people have it all...) anything you don't recognise belongs to me and if you wanna use it, you'll have to ask me first...

**We went to Hogsmeade together the following weekend. From then on things kept moving, and we never looked back. Harry was fine with us, I know that he wanted us to get together before, but I was kind of worried at how he would react now that it had actually happened, peoples opinions change as their positions change. Look at Ron when he found out Harry was dating Ginny, he almost looked as though he was going to punch him in the face. I never thought that I'd fall in love with the person who annoyed me more then a teacher who talks in a monotone every lesson. Even though we were going out we continued arguing, no matter how much we loved each other, arguing was always a key point in our relationship. Ron and I still had some pretty spectacular arguments, but now if Ron wanted me to shut up in an argument instead of yelling at me he would kiss me.**

"I can't think of what to write for this bloody essay!" Ron sighed, crumpling up a sixth piece of parchment and throwing it into the fire. I had just come through the portrait hole to see Rons piece of parchment land in the fire and Ron sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

"Ron what's wrong?" I went over to his table and saw Rons scribble at the top of the parchment 'Research into the properties of Hellebore and its uses in potion making'. I shook my head sadly as I remembered the previous Potions lesson, when Ron had flipped at Malfoy's comments about Weasels living in cardboard boxes, and he had thrown a handful of Gillyweed at him, thus causing Snape to take fifty points from Gryffindor and set Ron a punishment essay.

"Aren't you gonna help me? I've no idea what Hellebore even is…" Ron trailed off looking up at me hopelessly, already knowing what my answer will be. I sighed, I had told Ron to ignore Malfoy, already aware that Snape was in a bad mood. Ron needed to learn his lesson, and not be provoked so easily, and me helping him wouldn't help him in the long term. So I shook my head, fully aware of his reaction, and knowing that he had to do his own work sometimes.

"Why not?"

"You need to learn things on your own - I won't be around forever you kno-" I cut off at the look on Rons face, he was pale and tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

"Ron…" I put my hand on his arm but he pushed me away.

"If you're going to break up with me just tell me, anything, just don't do that to me."

"Ron, I…" I had meant that I wouldn't be able to help him in the exams but he began shouting at me,

"God Hermione, first you say that you love me and minutes later you let slip that you wanna split up with me - Will you make your bloody mind up? I can't take it anymore! I love you 'Mione, I don't want you to go, but if you're just using me then that's probably what's best in the long run."

Of course that was like a red rag to a bull, how could he think that I was using him - I love him more then life itself, but he did overreact sometimes. Within 30 seconds we were both yelling at each other, I didn't calm down until Ron yelled,

"So, if you don't wanna split up with me, then what did you mean that you won't be around forever?"

"I won't be able to help you in NEWTs will I?" I smiled as he began to grin, his ears reddening he looked at his feet and muttered something like 'sorry'. Grinning I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

**Year after year we had tirelessly worked against Voldemort and the death eaters. It was our final summer at Hogwarts when the last battle took place. Ron and I were recently engaged, so we had no major wedding plans. When the battle came, none of us were prepared for it, but we went in and fought regardless, and what happened that night changed my life forever.**

We were in Potions on a Monday, NEWTs were fast approaching, and Snape was in a foul mood as usual.

"I want samples of your Potions on my desk before the end of the lesson - yes you too Longbottom." He swept past Neville who whimpered as he tried to scoop a foul smelling mixture out of his cauldron without being overpowered by the tangent purple fumes that were slowly filling the room. "Your homework is to read these tonight," He slapped a pile of battered old books on Harry and Ron's desk, making the entire class jump, and Ron's cauldron to fall to the floor. Snape handed Harry the topmost one and asked Ron to give the rest of the books out to the rest of the class. "And I shall know if you have not read them, there will be a test at the start of tomorrows lesson. I suggest that you read these thoroughly."

Harry sighed, dumping his book in his bag, we already had an essay for Binns and McGonagal would no doubt set us some work this afternoon. I smiled to myself, I was planning to start reading my book at lunch, so I would get a head start and would be able to help Harry and Ron on theirs.

True enough McGonagall did set some questions to be completed. Ron and Harry chose to put it off for later as the reading assignment was due in first. When Harry opened his book that evening by the common room fire, he dropped it in surprise.

"What is it Harry?"

"A note" He bent down to pick up the piece of parchment that had fluttered to the floor when the book fell. He read it and became silent, wearing an expression of plain bewilderment,

"What does it say Harry?" Ron asked,

Harry took a deep breath and told us, the words echoing around the common room.

"Your time has come, you are now ready."

"What do you suppose that means?" Ron asked, Harry shrugged. Ron and I went to pick up Harry's books simultaneously, together we handed it back to Harry, who took it.

It happened very suddenly, there was a jerk beneath my navel, the three of us were swirling through colour and space. We landed on soft earth, Ron however hit his head on a lump of stone.

"Now who would be thick enough to leave a great limp of stone sticking out of the-?" He muttered, winking stars out of his eyes, he fell silent at the look on Harry's face, he had noticed what was carved on the stone.

_James Potter born October 4th 1962_

_Also here lies_

_Lily Potter, wife of the above,_

_Born November 13th of the same year_

_Died October 31st 1981_

_May they rest in peace_

_'Forever in our hearts they shall remain'_

"Noticed have you Potter?" Voldemort was standing behind us, death eaters were stepping out from between tombstones. Ropes flew out of their wands, binding us to individual graves, Harry was tied to his parents tomb, Ron to an ugly and I was kneeling on a nameless grave, tightly bound to the headstone, the cold rock making me shudder.

"Today," Voldemort began "will mark the end of an era, this era is Harry Potter, his legacy, his chapter in the pages of time. However despite it being an interesting and thrilling and a very _interesting_ chapter - it will be short. Harry Potter may have a short era, legacy…life," He paused on the last word "but we feel that he may not be happy to die, we always try and make our victims comfortable," A ripple of laughter ran around the death eaters. "Harry Potter, you seem to be unwilling to die," Harry was squirming next his parents grave, desperate to be released, "Despite us taking all that you love, your parents, your godfather, know the time has arrived for your friends to meet the same fate."

It was then that I realised what was going to happen, he was going to kill Ron and I before making sure that Harry was too grief stricken to defend himself when Voldemort goes in for the kill. For a second I thought about my wand - lying useless out of reach at my feet.

"You boy." Voldemort suddenly spat at Ron, he pointed his wand at him and the ropes fell to the floor, severed. "Get up." I gasped as I saw Ron scramble to his feet and pick up his wand. Voldemort was going to kill him first, I wanted to say something, to tell him how much I loved him, to beg for me to be killed instead. But my breath caught in my throat, I couldn't say a thing just watch as Voldemort advanced on Ron. He raised his wand, a jumble of words reached my ears, but I couldn't untangle them, there were a few flashes of light, I blinked and he had gone, he was sprawled on the floor, unmistakenly dead. It had ended, just like that, my life, my sole reason for living, had gone. It didn't matter if I died now, because if I died, I'd be with Ron again, beyond the veil, I'd live again.

Harry was staring at the soil at his feet, he seemed oblivious to what had just happened. I felt a sudden rush of anger, his best friend had just died and he didn't even care, I was jerked out of my thoughts by the ropes binding me to the headstone falling to the ground. My time had come, I was going to die like Ron, unmarked and painlessly, it was the way I wanted to go. But what about Harry? I couldn't leave this life yet, Harry needed me, Voldemort brought us all here to destroy him, I won't make it easy for him. I tightened my grip on my wand so my knuckles were now white, I wasn't going to go down without a fight. I looked him in the eye, those vivid scarlet eyes, he raised his wand and I braced myself for the coming storm. I glanced over to Harry and squinted, his eyes, his bright green eyes were glowing vividly, suddenly there was a flash of green light and I remembered no more…

I woke up suddenly, I spent a few minutes staring at the strip lighting above me when I remembered what had happened.

"Ron! Harry!" My sudden gasp startled a nearby healer and she bustled over to me.

"You're awake Miss Granger! How do you feel?"

"Where's Harry?" the healers face fell and she began stuttering,

"He…He was dead when we found him. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, Harry and Ron were dead, they had both died, yet I was here alive, longing to die, go beyond the veil, for all the pain to stop, but it wouldn't stop, and day by day I would have to learn to live with it.

**I don't know how I carried on after that, half of me wanted to die, and half of me wanted to live my life, while I still had it. Death eaters were still around they were slowly diminishing, but they were still out there, looking for me as I was the only surviving witness from that night. I didn't know where to go. I was walking in blind circles, no reason to live, no way to die. Then one day something happened that would change the way I thought about my life forever…**

**a/n:** Dedications are hidden in this chapter (see dates on James and Lilys tombstone), many thanks to Monkey and Pony for ALWAYS being there for me and helping me through high school, you guys rock! Also while I'm at it, Esta for giving me such good advice on the website, and opening my eyes to a world on the internet that I never would've seen without her…


	3. New life

**Chapter 3: **New Life

**Disclaimer: **Anything that you recognise belongs to JK Rowling (some people have it all...) anything you don't recognise belongs to me and if you wanna use it, you'll have to ask me first...

It had been two months since Ron's death and I felt terrible, every morning I was throwing up regular as clockwork. I guessed it had something to do with being under a lot of pressure or being emotionally unbalanced or something like that, until Ginny caught me at it for the third week in a row.

"Hermione are you all right?" Ginnys face was blotchy, I assumed that she'd been crying about Harry again last night.

"I'm fine I'm just a bit - you know…"

"Hermione," Ginny was looking at me strangely, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me up to her dorm.

"Gin, what is…?" but Ginny cut across me.

"You've been puking regularly right?"

"Yes, but that's probably to do with all that's happened."

"Have you felt bloated recently?"

"Yes, but…"

"You haven't been eating much though, I've lost weight, if anything, you've gained some!"

"That's not the way to make me feel better Gin."

"You don't get me Hermione. How can you gain weight when you're hardly eating anything?"

"I dunno, Ginny what is the point of all these questions?"

"Last one, honest, are you overdue?"

I paled as the truth finally sunk in and I slowly nodded.

"So you and Ron…" I swallowed back the bile and nodded slowly. Ginny but her hand on mine. "Hermione." I looked up at her, her pale face looking thin and stretched in a small smile, she stood up and I embraced her, the life inside me already affecting my instincts. "Do you know what you're going to do?" I almost couldn't believe that she was asking me that, there was no question about it. I was going to keep my baby, Ron's baby.

**Suddenly I had the will to live, Ron had gone, but had left life for me to love and cherish as I had Ron. I never realised how much the last battle had drained my energy, and physical health, but shortly before I was due, I found myself in St Mungos critically ill, and faced with a tough decision…**

It was a few weeks before I was due and I began getting fits of dizziness, it wasn't until I almost fell down the stairs at the Burrow that Ginny went all Mrs Weasley-ish on me and insisted on taking me to St Mungos.

I passed out in the waiting room, and woke up in a bed on the ward. Ginny was sitting at the end of my bed with tears in her eyes, when she saw me awake and she threw her arms around my neck.

"Ginny, I'm fine honest." I tried to calm her down, but she shook her head and fresh tears began to fall.

"I've spoken to the healers." Ginny choked back a sob as a woman in uniform came over with a clipboard.

"Ah you're awake Miss Granger," she spoke in a kind voice, that I couldn't help but trust.

"What's going on? What have you told Ginny?" I wanted to know what was wrong with me and weather my child was going to be ok.

"Your symptoms show that you are suffering from lymphocite pancreas syndrome, it is uncommon, uncurable, and fatal." It felt as though someone had pulled out my heart and flung it in the bin beside my bed. It was going to happen, I was going to see Ron again, but I couldn't couldn't leave this world, I had to stay on this side of the veil for my baby, I wanted to live and see my child grow up. I finally managed to choke up a few words.

"What about my baby?" The healer looked as though she had been expecting that question to come.

"If we leave you to have your child naturally, you will probably either die during the birth, or before -the birth, and most likely your baby too. The alternative is a cesarian, however despite there being a greater chance of life for your child, I can't imagine that you will survive the operation, if you do, you probably will only last minutes afterwards. Your baby will have a much greater chance of survival."

My mind was made in an instant.

"I'll go for the operation." The healer turned and left, I had accepted that I was going to die, but I didn't want to drag my baby beyond the veil with me, my child had done nothing to deserve death. Yet here I was planning on leaving him, or her, or… I didn't want to think about it, it was too painful. I turned to Ginny.

"Gin, can you get me some parchment and ink please?"

When Ginny returned I loaded my quill with ink and stared at the blank page, I knew that I'd never meet my own child, but I wanted to tell my baby that I loved them more then life itself.

**Dear Alex,**

**Ron always loved the name Alex, he always had said that if we ever have kids he would like one of them to be called Alex. He also said that it was a name associated with intelligence, so Ron said that for some reason it reminded him of me…**

**You've never met me, I'm your mother, I'm going to die soon, so I think that its only fair that I get to tell you your parents story…**

**Every couple has a story, some are more interesting then others, some aren't. Anyway our story begins when I went to Hogwarts and I had two best friends, Ron and Harry…**

I had written loads by the time I had to go into theatre, but I still hadn't finished, I asked Ginny to finish it if I never made it.

I survived the operation, we emerged from theatre three hours later tired but happy. I was a mother, I had a baby girl, smiling weakly at my daughter resting in her incubator, her curly red hair spilling over the mattress I picked up the quill again.

**I gave your life priority, I know that you can't read this right now – you're sleeping in the incubator next to me. I know that I will die soon, and I doubt that you will be overjoyed at me abandoning you, but I wanted you to live, not to be dragged beyond the veil with my soul. I hope you come to understand how all of this happened and don't judge us for it, for we will always be your parents and we will always love you.**

**Eternal Love**

**Mum  
xxx**

Alex Weasley looked up at her ageing headteacher, a tear was glinting in her eye, she blinked and it ran down her wrinkles carved by the years into her face, following the line down to the end of her nose.

Alex caught a glimpse of herself in McGonagalls glass cabinet, her firy red hair was curling on her shoulders, and her large brown eyes were filling with tears.

"My M-Mum wrote that?"

"She wrote it when she realised that she was never going to properly and get to know you."

Alex took a shaky breath, her mum wasn't completely gone, she still had her love, and, she had spoken to Alex through the years in that one letter. Fresh tears began to roll down her cheeks. She missed her parents, even her dad, even though he never found out about her existence, she began to silently sob, noticing this, Professor McGonagall drew her in a motherly embrace.

"They loved you Alex, that's all that matters."

A week after reading the letter from her mum, Alex and her friend Hannah had finished NEWTs, they were packed and ready and to go home for the last time.

Leaving the train to meet the Weasleys Alex felt ready, ready to start her Healer training, earn money, live the life her parents were unable to, to get out there and face the world.

Ron and Hermione were still around, waiting for her, she'd come to join them one day, and they wouldn't be far away, just the other side of the veil…

**a/n: **Sorry about the really sad ending but I can't seem to do anything other then tragedies (as those who have read my other story – No secrets from friends, will know) anyway this is the end, shall I do a sequal about Alex in her later life? Please review and let me know…

**The end**


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